how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
