it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
