dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
