i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
