sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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