I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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