The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There's always time for handjobs
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
