Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
