Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
