I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
