I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
