I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
