Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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