just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
