i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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