Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
