Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
