yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
