you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
