ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dignity is for republicans.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
