I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
