so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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