Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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