It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
