sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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