i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
