his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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