What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
