I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
