so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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