never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize