you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
