i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
