I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
