I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
