this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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