You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
