i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
