Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
