But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
