I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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