Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
