Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
