Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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