i can't believe i had my finger in that
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
