You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
