so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
