Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize