My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
