So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
