hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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