There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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