Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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