Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
