ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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