Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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