I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
