dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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