is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
