I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this boner is exhausting
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
